Editorial: Holiday Party Legend
By Robert Warne - December 13, 2001Recently I went to proof some print materials at a design house. I was amazed when I walked in and saw a former co-worker. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of years, but my memories of her were quite vivid. They included many Christmas parties of the past, most of which she could NOT remember. Talking to her opened the floodgates to my holiday party memories.
There was the year our company party was held at a posh Malibu ranch. The chairs had been freshly painted that day and never quite dried. So everyone at the party had white stripes on the backsides of their fancy clothes.
That same year two of us staked out a table and waited for our other friends to arrive. Before the people we were expecting showed up, the table was filled by a group of employees who’d recently been pink slipped. Needless to say, the owner and top chiefs didn’t spend much time at our table when they walked around the room welcoming the guests. It was obvious, our attempts to build a power table folded into the reality of a downer table.
So the following year to make up for lost ground I sat next to the owner’s wife who was alone because the owner was in the Philippines. I joined her and so did the company’s corporate lawyer and his wife. The majority of the crowd didn’t know these people, but I had dined with them before and knew my place. Then the riff raff showed up to fill in the other seats. I was on pins and needles the whole dinner just waiting for one of the guys to slam the owner or criticize the company. Luckily these guys didn’t say anything too off color.
At any other event I wouldn’t have been so nervous, but there are always a few characters who wait for the annual Christmas party to bust out of their everyday cage.
There are those few who show up on the tarmac of level headedness, waiting for clearance from the tower for their buzzes to take off. And there are always a few who hold it wide open in a quest for the .2 blood alcohol range before dinner.
And who hasn’t seen a 60-year-old secretary take advantage of an unsuspecting Santa?
These are just a few ingredients that make for a memorable holiday party. Without these experiences, these occasions would be bland and lifeless during such a colorful, decorative time of the year.
Just remember, you may not be recognized for all the money you saved the company, or given credit for carrying the company on your back, but the Christmas party is your one golden opportunity to become a company legend.
*If you have a funny Christmas party tale to share, please e-mail it to me. All names will be kept anonymous if you desire. | 
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