The Hope Institute functions and exists to provide outpatient treatment to adolescents suffering from grief, depression, substance abuse, conduct disorders, physical and mental abuse, trauma, rape, and other sufferings. 

Young people often cannot get the help they need from their families, and have no where to turn.  The hope at The Hope Institute is that with enough donated funding, young people in Southern California will have the option to turn to them at The Hope Institute with their pains. They want to have enough money so they can be the “go-to” place for desperate teen-agers and their parents.  

As I walked into the benefit area of the El Torito Grill just thirty minutes after the event started, I saw every table full of people in the midst of standing-room-only in certain corners.  My heart soared because of the turn out, at the same time that I felt an ambivalent sadness as I remembered my 18-year-old cousin, Dale LaMon, who committed suicide in the 1960s by shooting himself with his own rifle in his bedroom of my Aunt Dorothy’s house in the suburbs of Chicago. 

I remember the story I was told by my mother—that Dale had gotten up in the middle of the night and had accidently tripped over his loaded rifle, causing it to fire.  The bullet had hit his bed post and then ricocheted back and struck him.  He died instantly.

I believed this story for more than three decades until one day a brick metaphorically fell on my head.  In a flash of intuition, I knew I had heard the classic cover-up story that everyone told whenever there was a case of a very depressed and troubled teenager.   I finally then said to my nearly 90-year-old Aunt, “It was a suicide, wasn’t it?”  “Oh, yes…” she replied.   Then I said nothing more.  I didn’t wish to tear her heart out further... 

Helen Thies, the Board of Directors sponsor and new veteran workers’ compensation defense attorney at SLT Law, greeted me at the threshold of the benefit area.  I was immediately struck by her good looks and her radiant energy for this cause.  I told her how happy I was to meet her while I quietly held my cousin Dale close to my heart.   She handed me the package with all of the information about The Hope Institute. 

I entered the bustling room and found Stacey Tokunaga in her element effusing her ebullient personality.  I have so often seen Stacey like this in her usual spirit of generosity—giving of herself to her community, giving charitably, and giving her all to her clients.   Then, I saw Lisa Moore, the owner of Accelerated Claims Management, giving of herself, as well.  Lisa likes to provide fun, happiness, and amusement to claims professionals, as part of her expression of her generous spirit.  This is why she created claimcrazy.com, a website where claims adjusters can log on and tell their craziest claims stories.  She even gives out a prize every month to the teller of the craziest claim story!

Allen Kennedy was there, who works for Lisa Moore and is her claims supervisor.  He had recently returned from London, but didn’t have the opportunity to tell much about it.  He was too busy listening to others, in his generous way.  He listened to me, and also to James Gabriel, a lawyer at SLT Law, who was genuinely and authentically self-expressive—in his own generous way.

Shielah Doornik was there, a veteran workers’ compensation claims examiner who now works for Athens Administrators in Irvine.   Shielah is a born giver, therefore it seemed totally appropriate to me to see her at this event.  I know Shielah’s a giver from direct experience, as she has sent me wonderful gifts over the years.  She has sent me perfumes, necklaces, gift certificates, environment fresheners, and so many wonderful things.  Her giving has been so abundant that I simply cannot remember all her wonderful gifts.  Shielah is just a giver.  It’s her nature and her way.

Estelle Freeman was there.  I had lost track of her.   For seven years!  I thought she was an assistant claims manager or supervisor at Sedgwick CMS, but it turns out she is now the claims administrator of a self-insured, self-administered company called Robertson’s Ready Mix in Corona, California.   She exudes that she is happy with her position, and therefore is available to give back.   She puts out this vibe; therefore, it’s self-evident she’s a giver.  

Ronni Stewart was at the event.  She’s a work comp defense lawyer at SLT Law, and I call her the “dancing queen”.  She’s right out of that song by ABBA.   Ronni loves to dance the Rumba, the Cha Cha, and the West Coast Swing.  And she does her thing at the Atomic Ballroom in Irvine, California.  But, here at this event, this gifted dancing queen was giving back.  It was too crowded for her to dance, plus there was no music; so, she just got into the benefit.  Good idea…

Aaron Kurlan, another SLT Law attorney, whom I call the “San Franciscan”, was at the event.  He grew up in The Bay Area and loves that region, but has also worked as a lawyer on the East Coast.  The Bay Area has for generations been a region with a deep spirit of charity. 

Many people unrelated to claims came to this event.  There was a potpourri of people who came out for this cause.  There were names I didn’t know, but individuals whose faces I am sure I will remember. 

My Aunt Dorothy turned 99 years of age on January 30th, 2011.  I was with her that day and was, of course, the designated photographer.  Her husband, my uncle David, had been a chronic alcoholic and had abandoned the family so many years ago.  He and Dorothy had had four children. 

Uncle David killed himself in a fatal car accident while drunk, in 1952, after he abandoned his wife and children.   By 1958 Dorothy was working all night as a graveyard telephone operator in a desperate attempt to support herself and her four children.  She slept during the day because her job lasted all night.  One can only imagine that while she slept, her depressed son Dale had no one to turn to... 

If only there had been The Hope Institute for my cousin Dale.  This fact that Dale had no Hope Institute in the suburbs of Chicago in the late 1950s continues to weigh on my heart. 

The Law Offices of Stacey Tokunaga, aka SLT Law, underwrote this event and demonstrated their commitment to give back to the community and to support the plights of pained, troubled, and traumatized teenagers. 

You readers may contribute to The Hope Institute Family Fund by mailing your tax deductible donations written out to The Hope Institute Family Fund and mailing to: 890 West Baker, #200-A, Costa Mesa, CA 92626. 

You may note in the memo section of your check that you were inspired by the spirit of the Law Offices of Stacey Tokunaga. 

In closing this article, I want to thank Stacey Tokunaga and her lawyers for bringing my cousin Dale LaMon back to my memory and to my heart; and for bringing out to the world the need to give generously to The Hope Institute Family Fund in order to provide loving support and service to troubled teenagers. 

lonce@adjustercom.com